“The Resistance”

libertySitting at home today; I wasn’t feeling well, I started reading things on Facebook and in the news as well as other places across the internet. I’ve actually been doing this for the past few months, taking notice of a trend, a band of Freedom Fighters, fighting for Social Justice. You’ve seen them on YouTube, Smart TV, your Smart phones, talk shows and any and every social media platform or stage that will have them. They march with pink hats, they scream at the top of their lungs, They cry and have other public emotional outbursts, they have counted the number of genders and have deemed it worthy of scholarly learning. They champion for segregated safe spaces for black students on college campuses. Because of their work we now know it’s not okay; for a black man to buy a Wok and make Chinese food, for a white man to sell tacos, for a white woman to have dread Locs, for Koreans to sell Indian hair, for Puerto Ricans to make oxtails… and it is not okay, for a Mexican to wear a Bob Marley t shirt and have beef patties for dinner. Because of Cultural Appropriation, we now know that borrowing from other people is wrong. Because courageous woman marched, we have a greater understanding that masculinity is toxic.

Masculinity must be erased so that the true men may rise. This man will be in touch with and in full sync with his femininity. The old feminist began the work of shaping today’s new man and his new shaved and manicured masculinity. fem1 The new feminist are putting the finishing touches on what some may call, the emasculated effeminate, new man. fem2Which seems to be widely accepted as the far superior alternative to the traditional bravado man. These fighters have shown us that the bear haired chested man with dirty nails from building homes all day, is no longer acceptable. fem5 He exudes strength and domination. This can only be feared and removed, because this show of strength is destructive to all humans. fem4 In short, gone are the days when men knew what men were. When burly men walked through the door; sweaty and smelly from a day’s work and kissed his wife who longed to feel his strong arms around her waist. Men like my dad who smelled like motor oil and violet candy. Mothers knew what was expected of their sons and the men of their lives. Today, these women enjoy their freedoms and confusion passed down to them from three generations of feministfem3.jpgThese warriors… freedom fighters for social justice have also given us a litany of crimes and discriminatory Acts done to our follow humans. I read how it is not okay for straight men to over look transgender “women” who are finding hard to find men. It’s discrimination. One person said that we (straight men) should “move past it”. Joining their ranks in ever growing numbers are well paid celebrities and other wealthy people. Their laundry list of offences range from unacceptable words and phrases to micro aggression and longing gazes. From the brand of bottle water you drink to the amount of money in your bank account. Most of them also have atheistic Progressive Socialist Communist political beliefs as well. Though their ranks are splinted and each group’s numbers are growing, more and more I read and hear of them coming under the banner and calling themselves the resistance(This puzzles me). They’ve called for us to resist, resist the new president, resist discrimination and so on…

“We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”- Star trek; First Contact

The Borg’s approach to life has always troubled me, I like being a maverick. I love my freedom and my liberty. Check out the true meaning. Resistance: the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument. The more I read and hear and see on TV, the more I am frightened of what is becoming of the country I hold so dear. Black is White, Up is Down… and… those calling us to resist or else, are forcing conformity upon us! They say they are the resistance, that they want freedom and equality for all. But each day an internal gong rings louder and louder within me and I hear these words “I know not what course others may take but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!” these words were uttered by Patrick Henry on march 23, 1775. The context was breaking away from England’s subjugation and deciding whether or not to go to war. Also, getting away from a king and a government that was over seas, that was forcing upon them rules. But they wanted to be free to own land and profit from the goods they sold. But the king wanted them to pay taxes to England when they lived in a different country. Patrick Henry and the others fighting for independence and liberty were the Rebels, the true resistance. fem6.jpg

The Borg wanted to force assimilation. They wanted to force people from other planets and their culture into submission. But first… their protective shields had to be lowered. They’d say that resisting them would be futile. Imagine that, it would be pointless to fight back. You should just lay down your sword and your will to live and thrive, in order for someone else to force conformity on you. In their eyes you have already loss. Men will be allowed in the women’s bathroom, just because they feel like a woman. The word Sex has been replaced by Gender in order to have what we now know as “multiple genders” including the ever confusing fluidity. So give up and give in.

Just like the Borg’s philosophy or as Jesus said in Mark 3:27 no one can rob a strong man’s house. First, you have to tie him up…. then you’ll have the run of the house. So, you need to get Americans to let down their guard, then you can slip in whatever you want. It wouldn’t matter because they’ll be asleep. The entertainment industry is the easiest access point. Get the people laughing and giggling at alternative life styles, then add a measure of soft porn, sprinkle it with half witted manboys, with an added measure of teenagers are starter than their parents. What’s left, is a pliable mind ready to be programmed to accept an agenda that will ultimately destroy them… listen dear reader, how else can you explain two and a half to three generations later, young black college kids fighting for segregation. Senseless isn’t it? Understand this, when your freedom  infringes upon my liberty we have a problem. I don’t care if a man wants to suck another man’s face. I don’t need to see it no more than I need to or want to see any other couple, as my parent’s generation used to say “Get a room!” And you can not pass laws forcing people to like it or like you. You can’t force me or others to love or respect you. NO amount of hair coloring or foot stooping is going to change that. The so-called warriors may get an unconstitutional law passed or even stack the deck with government officials willing to push such legislation… but they will never make/force anyone to like them or their cause. Why? because it’s a heart and personal thing. You can’t make a woman love you, you can’t make a man love you it’s not something that can be forced… or else that’s rape or some other abuse. This is the sort of thing these SJW’s claim people are doing to them, forcing “themselves” and “their morality” on them…

Dear reader, when I started penning this, over a month ago now, I had heard of a woman and mother who told her sons that they essentially rapist and part of  the “Rape Culture”  I posted a video on fb of a woman who express my same view of the subject. My oldest son commented with  commonsense and was attack for his views, I told him I wasn’t going to get into a pointless social media  fight. Here’s the thing, he said that there was nothing wrong with masculinity and nothing wrong with men being rough or strong or aggressive, because it’s part of our nature. He also expressed that a rapist is just that and it has nothing to do with a man’s masculinity. He’s correct. The person told him that those things, especially for black men, can be dangerous and get you killed. In fact the person that the young woman in video would “change her rhetoric if she found herself with a “dangerous” black male” Of course my son was pissed at the mention of ethnicity and questioned why “race” had to be brought into the discussion. Gosh, I love it when people tell me how life is for me as a black man and I always enjoy the soft bigotry of low expectations. Of course revel in the thought of people who don’t live in this country but have soooooo much to say about our issues, especially on immigration! Anyway, since I started this the lunatics have turn it up a notch and have move to tear down statues, those folks that say black lives matter to them, have made a list of demands for white people, White folks are stepping over themselves with self hate, a cornucopia of anti-american loonies descended upon Charlottesville. And no, I don’t care what their acronyms are, they don’t not have the best interest of this nation in mind. In fact their purpose is the tear down our country. Everyone, is clamoring about freedom but they keep stepping on the freedom of the rest of us. Things like this is going on in public schools. Why? Because according to media and social media it’s the new In thing to do. To indoctrinate our kids in set of morals… forcing it on them. It’s so ridiculous now, that a woman I read about said that her child was “Transgender”. At 3 years old?! Parents have lost their minds…

All of these antics have only served to be fodder for anger. Just like before the 2016 election, people were getting tried of having things forced on them. The 8 years before had made many allowances for this so-called resistance, meanwhile the nation was getting weary of it. on election day much to the chagrin of the media, celebrities and other talking heads, the country pimp slapped them…. Here’s why.

Their maybe legitimate concerns within the gay community, legitimate concerns facing poverty, the black community, immigrants, energy, terrorism whether foreign or domestic and so on. But when you allow the crazies, the co-called “Activist”, the rich movie stars, the Beta males, the man haters and so on to take control of your cause, no one is listening anymore. Seriously what woman does Ashley Judd represent? None that I know of. I went to a restaurant one morning for my tea; I’d give you the name but some petty person would go after them, anyway the young woman called me “Hun” then as I was leaving said “have a nice day sweetie…” I left the store feeling odd. I couldn’t figure out why, then it hit me! I should be offended! But I wasn’t, it felt good to hear those words. Heck, my late wife called me Hun all the time. It was odd because we as a Society have come accustomed to finding offences, in everything! We don’t speak to each other like we use to, we don’t compliment anymore… out of fear we’ve broken some unwritten or written law we didn’t know existed. We don’t appreciate much anymore, Americans are walking around all tensed and bounded up. As my co-worker said “Everyone needs an enema!” But this is not who we are, to prove it I shut down that small world called facebook for a month and concentrated on the world around me.

I’ve been travelling up and down the east coast with my 14 year old daughter. For the purpose of this I’ll disclose our ethnicity. Be ready to gasp! We are… black, brown, colored Lol, we are non-white Americans. Yep. Guess what we found? Americans are not what the talking heads say they are. We actually care about one another. The problem is as our president said the other day, the media is dividing us. He wasn’t the first to think of that… remember, I stayed away from fb for that very reason. The internet hasn’t brought us closer it has pulled us apart. Each social media is divided by friends and likes. If your friends are just like you, think like you, chances are that same “fight video” is going to travel in a circle, a small circle at that. The media, news and fake news and social media are set up according to their biases, they lean Left, Right or Middle. However about 90% of the media outlets are Left leaning. This mean we hardly ever get balance information. Now, if your not going to go outside of your small circle to find balanced info what do you think your intake is…? Think about it, how is that the gay community, which is about 3 or 4% of the population gets so much media coverage? How about the screaming crazies? When your circle is small, you will think that this all that is happening in the world. Clearly you’re not seeing any good things. The knuckleheads on cable and other networks spent years and hours telling the world HRC was going to win. The people in closed circled social media believed it. They didn’t think of the real people who knew HRC and who were tired of what was happening around them… America chose someone else. These people are not the resistance!

I am, the Resistance!. Why? Because I refuse to let a few or even many knuckleheads tell me what to think or feel. I refuse to think that all cops are out to kill black men, I refuse to put a skirt on a two boy just because he’s playing with his sister’s doll, I refuse to through Jesus under the bus and put my complexion in the forefront of my beliefs. I resist! I refuse to teach my children that there is something wrong with them, other than a poor attitude. I refuse to raise victims that will demand something from others that they didn’t earn. I will stand for liberty, for freedom, I will resist anyone that tries to take it from me and mine. I will resist the enemy of my soul who wishes to destroy it… and I most definitely will resist the enemies of this nation both inside and out that seek to tear us apart.  I urge you dear reader, to join the real Resistance and resist regurgitating the videos and negative content that divides our country. But spend more time building it up. Tell the good and great stories that the ratings and following hungry folks won’t tell. Stop listening to the talking heads and wealthy movie stars, who constantly rail against other rich people then tell you to hate them. Stop listening to the boneheads, that tell you that your “race” is better than someone else’s. You know the truth! A poor Mexican and a poor white American or any other ethnic group, are all still poor. No one enough to eat and please do yourself a favor, shut down the electronic world once in a while and go out into the real world.

resist

I will pray on my knee and I will fight on my feet… I will not be Assimilated. I will resist…. I amThe Resistance!

“I know not what course others may take but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”

Until next time…

“Without Her: Anger”

January 2014

I have stacks and stacks of papers and letters on my bed, desk, chair and ottoman. I now nap (I don’t really sleep) with half my bed covered in bills, letter…and newspapers. Well, the newspapers I’d fully intended on reading. But in the beginning I didn’t want to read the news. Now I don’t have time to because of the constant shifting through letters and threatening bills…

Looking at her phone of course.

The other day as I sat with a letter in my hand, a thought hit me what else am I missing. One of those letters was a bill for the three cell phone lines I’m still paying for. But I said I wouldn’t turn off my wife’s (Sharol) until I had contacted everyone and changed all the billing information into my name. So I unlocked her email to check for a bill that might have been a online/direct payment. I found two…and much more. As read a few saved emails I was instantly transported back in time and became very angry. What did I find? A few old angry emails from past arguments!! I remembered them well too. I could hear Sharol’s voice, see that annoyed look in her eyes, I could hear her yelling above me, I could smell the air of that day, I could feel my heart rate raising, my glucose level as well. I remembered the look I gave her, the thoughts I was thinking about her, how I hated her in that moment… I couldn’t believe I kissed that foul disrespectful mouth! I could feel the taxing drain of hours of combat. The dry mouth and hurting feet from standing. What was it about this time…? The kids? Something I said? Something she said? Something we did? Does it really matter?! Why keep such things! And when you die, leave it behind to be read!…

I remembered one day so clearly… we were fine, in fact it was a good year for us. But something happened, we argued, didn’t talk to each other. I believe I threatened to leave. Sharol didn’t care. I was furious, I had enough of the kids, married life and arguing. I packed a bag and walked out. I found a cheap motel up by Co-Op  City in the Bronx. I’d taken my cell phone just in case she decided she loved me enough to call.  I bumped into our oldest son on the train, he was clueless. So, I handed the guy my ID and credit card. He gave me a key…I walked in the room, turned on the TV and checked my phone…no call! As the night progressed I became more and more uncomfortable be in the motel and not at home. But I crossed a threshold, I did something I’ve never done before. I can’t turn back, I left, like many of men before me…but why didn’t I feel good about it?! I went to the bathroom…stared at the TV, then suddenly dread fell on me. What if I die here? What would the headline say? What about the kids?…but if Sharol cared she’d call…  

2014 weekend getaway. Sharol liked picture.

My phone didn’t have reception…

After a sleepless and restless night I swiftly left the motel. It hit me that I had to drop the kids off to school. I didn’t know how Sharol would feel, would she answer the phone? etc. I called and said I would be there…Sharol told the kids, one of them ask where I was, that I was probably at store and would be there soon…

After the kids were gone I walked into the bedroom. No words said…we set on the edge of bed beside each other. Then she started crying, I did too…we talked about where I’d been, my horrible night and how she couldn’t sleep. We apologized to each other. Then Sharol did a strange thing. Strange because there are many “strong woman” that don’t or at least act like they don’t, need or want men in their lives. She asked me with tears streaming, not to do that again, not to leave her. I didn’t. She told me, but I could truly feel it at that moment..”I love you”

About a month or so later Sharol heard this word in church Akrogoniaios “Jesus the Cornerstone”  after the service she told me the Lord spoke to her heart. And said she was with me to help me become the man God wanted me to be. Of course I was skeptical, we’d just had major marriage crisis. But there was a paradigm shift in our relationship from that time forward. Mostly because our dependency was focused on Christ.

I have been wearing a wedding ring for 19 years, there have been times when I took it off because I didn’t want to be reminded that I was married. A few days a week I’ve gone without it (feels very odd), because eventually, now that I’m a widower, they (She gave me one an anniversary gift, I wear both) will come off. The first day I went without it, I was reminded of a horrible day. Words were said, she and I were mad…Sharol through her rings, it went out the window! Apparently,I followed with you don’t deserve to have/where them!(I didn’t remember saying that,until she mentioned it about a year ago) Later that day Sharol searched the grass and street like the woman in the Bible looking for her lost coin. She vowed never to take them off again. She didn’t. My words cut her deeply…and taking off my ring now, has been incredibly hard. Not to mention the guilt and sadness over how simple minded I had been in the past.

My dear reader, I don’t know why we humans keep such heartbreaking things. The Bible does say that Love doesn’t keep a record of right and wrong. I can see why. Things like our angry word emails can last a long time. So can the effects of them. The day I read said emails, about a week ago, I spent the entire morning bitterly crying over the loss of my Abby. I didn’t go into work because I didn’t have the mental or physical strength to get up. Then came the reading of the emails, the anger, the rage and the questioning of Sharol’s love for me. A hellish pit a woe!!…

A few days later I was reminded of Lots’s wife who was warned to flee and “not look back”, she did. She died. She turned into a “pillar of salt”. This is what happens to many of us, we get stuck in a horrible loop of grief. Unable to move forward, backwards or any direction. And our love ones suffer for it too. Some of us need help dealing with our loss. My boss/friend suggested that I go to a grief counseling service for city workers. Her assessment of me was, I haven’t had a proper time to grieve because of all the things I’ve been taking care of. I chose to make the appointment. You know, not too long ago I was talking to my sister. She was telling me story about being around a group of mostly young people. They were talking about marriage, the usual  whining and complaining. Someone posed the question “What’s the absolute worst part of marriage?”  My sister said “One of you will have to die”  She is absolutely right!!  That’s why I’ve always hated standing around a group of guys whining about their wives and it never failed, someone would turn to me and say “You know how they are,right?  My response was always the same “No I don’t, I actually love my wife”  You could usually hear a leaf drop after that…  

2015 summer vacation in Atlantic City. Picture taken at the aquarium

  I also chose to remember something very important…Sharol told me she loved me! And I have proof of that love. And it’s not in some old, out dated angry letter!! It was said to me daily and most recently in a Love letter. 

A letter from Sharol written May 20, 2016 I didn’t find it until a week after her death.

2014 Father’s Day

these are the things, dear reader, that we need and should hold on to. Be careful not to step in to the trap/pit that I did. Yeah I know, some of you have already done it…well, learn from my mistake. Don’t look back into the past, it could paralyze you. Rendering you powerless and incapable of healing and moving on.

Until next time…